worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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