I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
