i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
