It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
