YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
