i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Every concussion has its silver lining
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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