you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
