it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
this is an emotional support booty call
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize