they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
