just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Come on in and take your pants off
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