the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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