i can't believe i had my finger in that
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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