What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Terrible idea I love it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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