So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
