Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize