Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
