just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
