Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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