How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
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