I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
