curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
