you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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