Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
