I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
