Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
