i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
