I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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