Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
