I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
