I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
