Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm at about main and main street
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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