Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
