people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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