i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
