Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
