Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
