This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think Iām going to marry her
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
