How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize