why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
