This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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