ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize