I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
