i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
