you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
