If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
