It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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