he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
