Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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