Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
