so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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