You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
