Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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