Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
