I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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