We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
