Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
