We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
