I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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