we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
