I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
