I hate your face
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
